Yo I charged a $20 breakfast to ur room, will pay u back in liquor and schoolgirl panties, thx again for a fun time
guy picked up a cops taser, thing shot him in the neck, he went down and pissed himself, cop started laughing and hasnt called an ambulance.
oh my god. i just found my camera... on top of the bush outside of my house. never let me drink everclear again
You dont understand. she was my french AND spanish teacher. that's 2 kinds of freaky. i have to find her on facebook.
He's more than prepared to help us move. Dude brought sunscreen, cans of Coke, and Captain Morgan.
He's yummy.
HE'S GAY. AND 40.
Irrelevant.
I ate goldfish off your shoulder, I think we had bigger issues
My nose hurts from that stripper beating me with her tits
That's always how I imagine things at your apartment...
Good, I'm glad you don't have some weird, skewed, clothed version of reality over here.
Ok let me just clear up this blowjob thing first so we can talk about your grandpa
After sending me a dick pic, he asked, "yay or nay?"
The guy I'm talking to drunk texted me his essay last night and he asked me to revise it
There's a guy masturbating in front of Sephora right now
I'm just glad I met someone who probably won't punch you in the face
I texted her that I burned my tongue drinking coffee so it hurt to talk or kiss... How many points do I get for doing her without talking or making out first?
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