omg... punch me in the throat... I am about to lose my mind with my parents.. I'm not saying I agree with the menendez brothers.. but I understand
we put on a show in the hot tub for our boyfriends, then climbed out and both got down on our hands and knees and puked at the same time--still naked.
she would only give me a road handjob because she didnt want to unbuckle
safety first
im sitting in the back of my pickup eating an artichoke. please come find me, im scared.
that was a mass text, wasnt it?
I met her tumbling down the stairs chugging Captain Morgan. I'm not sure why she has the better reputation either.
I think they can follow the trail of blood to my house if they have a problem with me taking a dip in their hot tub last night b4 stepping on a broken bottle
I feel like he's only with me because no one else would blow him.
Cracked my iPhone screen. Real bad. Girl from last night isn't ugly yet. Stop me if you still think she belongs under a bridge. You have 12 seconds.
Some guy just showed up at my door to return my bikini top. EXPLAIN NOW
Will you fuck me while I eat my burrito though? I'm kind of hungry.
I can assure you I didn't go home with a girl, because I woke up on someone's porch
My walk of shame turned into having to get his dad to tow my best friends car out of the snowbank in his driveway
I walked out ot my car in the morning thinking there was a sandwich I left there from yesterday. Then later that day I was checking the mail and saw the other side of my car :/
It concerns me the most that u were potentially going to eat a day old car sandwich.
My life has hit a new low, I just licked MDMA of someone's bed.
I'm too pretty to go to jail. Especially in Louisiana.
Randomize
