Saw shirtless man with angel wing tramp stamp seen biking in my neighborhood. Considering moving.
I guess she didn't feel like it. There was hair all over it and everything
well,he told me "i bet you five bucks that i can right cum on the mirror with my cum" i said alright do it, lets just say he's five bucks richer...
she broke up with me using backstreet boy lyrics
you deserved it if you knew it was backstreet boys.
Watching Fresh Prince at 9am with a beer in hand and he just said to Uncle Phil "Sometimes I worry that I'll never get my life together." I feel like that was a sign from above or something
At CVS buying just condoms. The guy behind me is buying just hotdog buns. There was a silent moment of understanding between us.
She counted 5,6,7,8 then intentionally kneed herself in the eye numerous times.
Man, I must say, having known you since preschool, Eiffel-Tower-ing her would've fully completed our journey to brotherhood.
I found my hair extensions. They were in my hamper.
IM TRYING TO BE RESPONSIBLE AND ALL I WANT TO DO IS FUNNEL CHEAP BEER AND SCREAM ABOUT HOW MUCH I LOVE OUR NATION
Hung over and there is no way in the world I can make this mess look good today. Only solution is to stay drunk.
You helped blow my nose... Ok it's safe to say we are on a new level of relationship..
I drunkenly texted ur dad last night telling him he raised great kids hahahahaha
I've also stopped shaving, like, everything. I can't tell if I'm empowered or sad
You fell out of his top bunk onto his set of golf clubs. After seeing blood on your leg, you proceeded to sing "the first cut is the deepest" while sprawled on the golf clubs
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