remind me to tell you what i found stuck to me this morning
she said "the two best ways to sober up are to nurse someone or give a blowjob" and im gonna go along with it.
So he told me he wanted to fertilize my caviar. Im avoiding all foreign exchange students from now on.
plan d- we get drunk, go see that Justin Bieber movie and freak out 13 year old girls.
I am getting drunk. And i'm going to paint my face and slide down the stairs like Pochahontas. Goodbye
We're watching a video in class about cheese. The scoring for it sounds like that of a Lifetime movie. My mind is creative. I've continued my own story in my head of a wheel of cheese that was raped and murdered. It's so sad. I hope they get the guy. Btw, the video is about marketing.
The guy I met last night said we had a real connection and gave me his AA coin because he met me during his relapse
A lot of things don't look good... It doesn't look good for a lifeguard to be smoking a cig and drinking from a conspicuous cup... But hey I'm doin it
Next time we include dessert condiments into our sex life we can fuck up my sheets. It's only fair.
how should I feel if a guy kept complimenting my bangs while I was giving him a blowjob?
Not exactly hook line and sinker right away, but I'll give him a second chance. I should sext him me in my blue shark onesie.
I was asked last night if Magnum makes a XXL..... I don't think I've ever broken this many condoms in my life
Auto correct isn't even working for how drunk you are
dude kate found out i cheated and busted in while i was taking a shit. I was cornered, nothing i could do
so drinking tonight?
Be there in 15
I just hit 3 trees and a golf cart.. all on the same hole
Put me down for a bogey
Randomize
