i don't remember her name, but i don't need it unless we decide to hook up again. but even then, i can get away with not knowing it for a while. it's not like we have actual conversations.
This morning when you woke up you looked like one of the Wii Bowling people. I think it was the eyebrows combined with the sambuca
please remember that your boobs are bigger than your sisters. when you borrow her shirts they stretch and then shes left flapping in the breeze. dont borrow her clothes anymore. love dad.
Nothing like studying in the College of Communication to make you realize how smart you are.
Too bad my thesis topic isn't "defining a hot mess: a study in drinking, smoking and other bad life decisions."
just woke up on my balcony. who won the super bowl?
Would it be appropriate to cancel a hookup to watch the golden globes?
absolutely. tina fey and amy poehler trump everything.
I guess I'll just chalk it up as a learning experience and a lot of great sex.
We joked about how funny it would be if he got pulled over with 300 breakfast burritos in hus car. We walk outside of the school just as the police lights turn on and pull him over
So I just realized I have three bananas, seven condoms, three lube packets, three tampons, and a shot glass in my bag but no pen #modelstudent
He was wearing a diaper to the party. I've never felt like such a creep in my life.
What are you gunna do with your life today
put it back together
For some reason drunk me always leaves sober me a banana in the morning.
He sent me a dick pic from a port-o-potty in Boston. If that's not love Idk what is.
Wow this just keeps getting better, weed, shrooms, a stripper..........a gun.
Randomize
