Send those Picts to my email please. From last night
Ps thx for the porn on my phone
;) ur welcome
I told him that he could only go home with me if he didn't talk or tell me his name
My tally is now official: I have been drunk every weekend since 2008. Cheers.
I don't remember how we paid for the cab. I do however remember giving him my heels 2 help with the bill.
He's coming back with me for the week. It took me saying "I don't wanna drive myself home... I'm better as a passenger giving road head" for him to jump at it. Rack another one up for my magical openings.
The stripper just invited me to take shots with him out at his car after he gets off stage.. I mean why not? I've already seen everything he's got and it'll be easy to get him naked.
Last night was just one giant freudian slip.
You made out with EVERYBODY.
Can I just bleach my life?
Were you rubbing your penis on me while I slept? I smell like penis.
Also, yes, I look pretty rough. But my ovaries fought back this morning so getting dressed decently was not a priority.
I'm so excited for post-beer fest chipotle. It will be better than scared shitless pre-go karting chipotle.
Once the overwhelming "oh god my crotch is on fire" wears off, that excite stuff is really nice
He told me that he wants to fuck me only wearing a princess tiara...How could I possibly say no to that?
hey, so i dont know your name. but im guessing we had sex last night. seeing that you're in my phone as "had sex time thursty thursday guy"
you were huddled over the toilet, throwing up, and every few seconds you'd look up and say "this is such a waste of vodka" then put your head back down and start puking again
Had a job interview today. Walked into the room and said "IT'S GO TIME, BITCHES".
Randomize
