My only options right now are Herpes, Gay, or Vanilla.
Are you missing anything? I found a wedding ring in my bed this morning.....
Dude sorry i couldnt seem to spell any words right in the texts i sent you last night
I felt like a fucking code breaker.
i wish i could "like" people's thoughts in real life like i can on facebook
you can....by speaking....
I told her the maid must have stolen all my condoms. She bought it
frankly if you're gonna get kicked out of your place, hooking up with your gay roommate's boyfriend would be the most entertaining way to do it.
i woke up to the sound of my roommate climbing onto my desk mumbling that she was going to bed
I'm a big fan of your penis but I will not sit through an animated movie dedicated to it.
Bc when the owner of your local gay bar and a drag king ask you to take them to a rival gay bar 2hrs away at 4 in the morning YOU GO.
You are softly singing to the wall while slow dancing with it. I feel as though you should discontinue this behavior.
Why is there a video on my phone of us trying to snort a line of Reeces Pieces with you chanting "This is how fat girls party"?
How do you tell someone who's buying a pregnancy test to have a nice day .... Like how
There is a Victoria's Secret pageant on right now with Taylor Swift singing in lingerie. I didn't know a penis could get this erect.
To be honest. I have two poptarts in my jacket pockets. No one knows. I am pro stealth.
this is the fourth time i've taken my clothes off for money this year. is that normal for the average college sophomore?
Randomize
