There's a 34yo winking at me. Why do i find this weird when my bf is a 38yo married man?
ur dog is so gonna tell on us one day.
for doing what?
for smoking bowls out on the deck while your parents aren't home.
dude 8 am is too early to start pregaming for new years eve
clearly you are not from wisconsin
I have a spoon shaped bruise on my ass...
i just sent him like 8 different sexts and he texted me back about how good the hummus is that i left in his fridge.
I can't drink with the moms anymore. All they talk about is lactating.
Okay. I am working on pulling a tooth out of my mouth. Call me.
I know. But whatever I'll just eat cold pizza and play with my cats by candlelight
Neat. I'm thinking about growing a handlebar muffstache. What are your thoughts on this?
Please keep in mind you are asking relationship advice from a girl who fucked a guy just because we have the same name. Just keep that in mind.
Totally just railed SuperGirl for my birthday. Best Girlfriend EVER!
They need to eat meat, go down on me the first time, every time, and know how to pull my hair. And there's a height requirement for this ride
You know it was a good night when visa fraud prevention services are calling
I felt like I needed to shower with a Mr. Clean Magic Eraser.
She did what?
Who. The correct term is she did who.
Did you see him? The correct term is definitely what.
Randomize
