Soooo my gf got the droid and doesn't have BBM anymore, I think its over for her
I just ate a bag of doritos while taking a shower. I can now officially do anything
I don't care if I just threw up. You kiss me now. This is marriage.
So I did end up texting him last night... I asked him how he felt about haircuts... not sure where I was going with that one?
Just as I was applauding myself for the best wing man award, I realized we are going to have to burn our futon.
Are you high?
The snorkel mask makes that pretty clear
I just climbed out the passenger side of my car because there was a spider on mine. I'm doing adulthood right
Sometimes I just want to kiss you without you pulling ur cock out and waving it at me
In other news, Justin Bieber has a big dick and that makes me uncomfortable.
He also deemed that the fact that I couldn't log into Netflix was not an emergency. He's wrong.
Hey, you know that marble art statue thing in your bedroom? Hypothetically what would happen if a penis got stuck in it?
So vagazzling was a success
Eventually I will start sleeping with people who actually want to hangout with me the next day... But not today
I'm cuddly bitch. Deal with it.
He showed up at my house drunk with a pizza and said he wanted to lazily finger me while I watched supernatural. Who was I to say no?
Randomize
