I'm pretty sure that he just gave me the ginger disease
He said we were driving the golf cart through the woods screaming 'iceroad truckers' for four hours in the dark
I think I breastfed the cat at some point during the night, at least that's what my nipples are saying
there is no way i can order from that cashier at in n out after she tried helping me while i was drunkenly puking in their bathroom at 11 am
I found a fried uncrustable on the table from last night.
stuck in the elevator with that hot guy from the 3rd flood. Worried he can smell my spray tan and desperation
About six hours after the bottle of smirnoff, I was googling "losing your stomach lining" and calling my mom for help. She has experience.
You may have cured my horniness. I feel like my libido just got shat on by kittens who live on an enchanted rainbow.
I'm texting an actual stripper. A male stripper. I dont wanna talk about it yet
The paramedics said she just kept whispering "I just wanted to party"
Hook ups at LEGOLAND don't count right?
Are we playing inappropriate sexual encounters bingo?
He's pretending to be my boyfriend so that my family won't bother us when we sneak off to smoke weed
I just put a pill up my vagina. It was little like a quail egg. There is so much happening up there right now.
So what happened at girls night? My roomate found me passed out locked out on the front steps of the house and it was raining. Yes low moment
When you called me I said did you make it home. You said yeah. Then you said you didn't know where you were. I said you were at home and you said but where. I said you are in the bathroom. Then you said oh, you're so smart lol
Randomize
