i just went dwnstairs and there are 5 guys without their shirts on hugging each other. i think i should leave now
Nobody needs to come anywhere. Except on your face.
i love accidental penises.
My girlfriend was pissed, so if I had to guess, i'd say I had a GREAT time last night
Yea I've gotten enough hickeys in my life to know what I'd look like with a neck tattoo. I think I'm getting a neck tattoo.
can i bring anything?
Any of the following: Sex doll, side dish, fruits/vegetables that look like dildos, beer
is there a theme i should know about?
Halfway through the night I was hiding in a trashcan. Then I "sobered" up and ran around the house throwing change because I wanted to make my last moments of 2013 charitable.
It's been two dates and she just invited me to her aunts funeral. I can't even. Who the fuck does that? I need to drink I'm coming to get you in 5
I'm excited I love mornings when I'm not sober
He wore socks while I was giving him head. I couldn't even focus on his penis because of the socks.
My friends say stay away from him but it’s still 2017 so I’m allowed to make shit decisions until midnight hahah
you've already made the comitment to pee in public you should at least whip your dick out
If sleeping with your boss doesnt scream job security i dont know what does.
No offense, but I don’t think I would want to see him in anything skimpier than a hazmat suit.
So... my daughter's new girlfriend Is the daughter of the girl I dated on and off in college Who ran away because she got pregnant at my house party. My Legitimate daughter Is probably fucking my Illegitimate daughter...
Randomize
