If you don't answer the phone then I will be forced to leave you a wonderful voicemail of me throwing up
I'm actually glad you're quitting. Now there's one less person at work who's seen me naked.
I don't remember anything other than how good it felt when I peed my pants.
Just had a flashback of you announcing "your nipples aren't that big for the size of your boobs, I've seen them"
we took shots then she made me eat a dill pickle with cream cheese wrapped in a piece of turkey.
This is like the time you took a picture of your knees and told him it was your tits, isn't it?
I don't know which part of you thought this was funny but it's fucked up to wake up in that much fluff and now we don't have a couch. Fuck you.
I've liked him since I puked on him on my birthday so I want it to be special.
Just made a memo in my blackberry that contains seth's funeral arrangements. I have a feeling he has big plans for the weekend.
Realizing life ain't all about burritos and strippers, it's a struggle out there, and it ain't looking pretty so far,..
You bet your firm but soft ass I miss you
i dunno but you just looked at him said "youre making me really wet" and straight pissed your pants
Tonight’s your last chance for a danger free blowjob.
seriously i don't trust him. he fed me a hot dog out of a crock pot and gave me moonshine dashed jager bombs.
He broke both of his legs jumping out of a window to escape a coyote.
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