I'm on that like soy sauce on rice
Encyclopedia Brown and the case of the missing condom.
I hope Brown isn't a clue to its whereabouts.
Two girls are doing the worm relatively well on the bar floor after the fact I just saw one puke in the trash
You tried to pay the bartender in graduation checks, I think you'll be fine in the real world.
dont worry about it. i always have emergency bong water with me
His wife found out about our affair the same day he got fired for it.
Well, I've taken the art of car peeing to new heights
My masturbation fantasy just had a wedding theme. I need new hobbies.
please tell me we weren't that bad as freshmen
i can't, we're worse now
You see it tends to piss fathers off when they find their daughter in the arms of a shirtless guy that neither he nor his daughter knows.
It's not vacation until I get called "disgustinly sexy" by an fat woman whose older than my mother.
Just remembered that I got laid thanks to my glow in the dark Batman belt buckle. Need to wear it more often.
if you didn't cry because you couldn't find me and then pee your bed, your wingman status would totally be revoked for leaving me at that party.
Youre saying I should leave him? Have you seen the dating pool these days? It's terrifying, and in the capital region it's straight Norman Bates
I just woke up with a cowboy hat on my face and a playboy from the 90s on my chest
Randomize
