You gave him your vagina and this is what I get in return? This is bullshit!
the amount of blow i got, New years should last a week.
you really dont want me to drink and drive. you saw what i did to my face and that was only from walking
its friday night, im aone in my apartment and eating 2 year expired canned fruit, naked. i'm not single or anything..
She told me to act like the hulk during sex. Shit got 9 different shades of weird
I just told him that with every paper, I'd take a picture of myself with one less piece of clothing. Who say's I can't be a tutor?
When i sexted him a pic of my boobs I was worried he was going to notice the dorito crumbs and know I was just eating topless
I met her daughter,who I went to high school with on my way out this morning. She didn't seem to surprised. I love older women.
Since when do you jog?
Since hot shirtless guy that lives across the street jogs
I really have to stop having sex with people I sell drugs to...it feels unprofessional
One last thing: he lists glow sticks and tacos as things he can't live without. How would we not be friends??
There I was, puking into the toilet, and he was rubbing my feet, buck naked. I feel like a drunk Disney princess.
CURRENTLY PLAYING FLIP CUP WITH A WORLD SERIES CHAMPION
I took a picture of you last night while you were drunk, trying to smoke a bowl through your nose. It's now your contact id.
Bud light made chelada as a breakfast for those of us with class at 8 am
Randomize
