I had a dream last night where you were a transsexual in a low cut blue dress with lovely long brown hair. You were very pretty. I hope you are well.
His facebook profile says he's interested in men, but i'm choosing to ignore that
you won't ask to borrow his earbuds because you think it's gross, but you'll have sex with him?
70 feet underwater and I sharted my wetsuit, Tide pen won't clean this up.
do you think my med school application would be worse off if "I like helping others and shit" slipped into an essay I emailed last night?
remind me not to puke in the mesh trash can tonight
Just saw an ad for "Liver-aid" how has this not become a life changing drug for millions?
All I did this weekend was get my life in order. I feel like I wasted my time.
I would fuck him In a heartbeat, an obese child running up stairs with an irregular heartbeat, heartbeat.
Talked to Nate, told him he was a douche. Will give details when sober. It's ok. You're my best friend together a wolf pack. Olive juice.
Well we get the HIV results on my birthday haha. It'll be like happy birthday kid, you have AIDS.
Stop watching porn on my work computer.
STOP WORKING ON MY PORN COMPUTER.
It's like all the guys I keep around if I wanna have sex with all got mad at the same time. I guess I'll get out my vibrator again.
She gave me a job then fed me cheesecake in bed. She's a keeper!
The beauty of getting kicked out of college again is I can fuck my professor's brains out and she can't get fired now
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