In all seriousness though I just found out the dog pissed in my bed it'd be nice to crash somewhere other than my couch while my piss soaked bedding is in the washer
that's an acceptable place to lick
yeah so our basement was flooded 4 feet. we just smoke and drank and then went swimming. gotta make the best out of it
There's nothing like puking in the airport on the way TO Vegas. Something tells me i pregamed a little too hard.
we were sitting in the bathtub when she came in with her grandpas cane adn beat us until lindsay passed out
Seriously. Come back. I've had two beers for breakfast so far. The third will be for lunch since it's already 12.
I consider any night I don't make out with someone a bad night. So I've been great.
While randomly hooking up with my neighbor last night he says "it's okay we're neighbors".
I don't have any plans for New Year's except watching anime and drinking until I can't read the subtitles anymore.
I'm sitting here with a heating pad and a fan on me eating snow caps off of my boobs
all I know is id definitely throw up if you guys ever dated so if you do stay the fuck away from me
I shaved my balls for you. Do you have any idea how hard that is?
Keep in mind this was 2012... YOLO was a very new concept.
I feel like everything in my life has been preparing me for my future sex robot experience
You’re so close!!!
You literally snort drugs up your nose and you’re questioning the brand of the multivitamin right now?
Randomize
