In hindsight, i should have predicted that a drink called the 'rocky mountain bear fucker' would not end in a pleasant experience
she said i was amazing, then i left to room to take the rubber off and came back to find her masturbating with my xbox controller while niko got a call from roman.
I feel like I got hit by a truck made out of Jack Daniels.
Tostitos scoops are the best shotglasses ever. Eat it after as a chaser.
For his 21st I'm getting a fancy hotel that way he can at least sleep in a nice bathtub
It was literally like being eaten out by a dog. That bad.
just chugged some gatorade and threw it up. todays gonna be awesome
Your expertise in crazy bitches is needed.
It's official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world.
Fuck at this point id do just about anything for 20 bucks
That has been your downfall in past encounters with 20 dollars bills
i wish his balls had a scratch and sniff sticker elsewhere so i would know before i even went down there
The woman in the hospital bed next to me just got diagnosed with flea bites on her vag.
Whaaaaaat? No way.
Now a discussion of pigs vs. dog as carrier.
There's nothing like telling your girl to hold your pants while peeing on your neighbors door
You are COMPLAINING that the sex was too good. You're not getting any sympathy from me
You woke up butt naked, peed yourself said something about jumbo shrimp, and passed back out 10 seconds ltr..
Randomize
