you keep denying me to hang out, should i take a hint?
you keep asking me after midnight, should i take a hint?
just saw an old couple make out...not too sure how I feel about it. though I will admit at one point I was thinking "oh yeah! get that!"
well, someone with very low standards is getting their dick sucked
the only human I can compare her to is rosie o'donnell.
I can feel the alcohol in my calves
ok. i'm ready for you to come back and test the structural integrity of this futon.
Might as well permanently tattoo lush somewhere on my body and show it to people when I decide to drink so they won't serve me.
Fastest way to get judgmental looks on a Sunday morning: wear sunglasses inside carrying a case of beer and thin mints at the grocery store. May or may not have ran into the glass door.
Gotta love Minnesota
Then that means he's outwardly conservative. Inwardly he's a total gay horndog. He's like a spy that can ruin conservative plans.
I want to change all my life goals to that.
I am in an eBay bidding war over a build a bear one direction tshirt, this is who you choose to bone
Easter bunny might get some gnarly munches and not even have enought candy left to hand out
Where is everybody?
It's pretty much split between the strip club and jail.
so i was about to call you for your birthday but then i started making out with this guy... and i feel bad but i felt like you'd understand
"Here let me wipe my uterus off your dick" was probably the most unsexy thing said after period sex. I should get an award
He really is. Owns his own house and has more than one towel!
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