Did you call me this morning? I was really drugged up and don't remember.
Have a good day. My vagina shrank.
You keep asking me questions like I have this magical thing called a memory
Some creeps at the festival started talking to me, so I told them I was going change my tampon. Worked like a charm.
Well yes but because of that incident i now salute to truck drivers
You know me. im down for anything that could harm my well being. lets dress like dolphins so everyone will see what dicks they are.
just found out they live across the street from coke dealers... rethinking the new years resolution
Chris threw beer can at guy. Guy ended up being a fighter. Chris got his eye socket broke. Fighter got hand re-broke. Chris is passed out. Fighter is in kellys bed. everybody won last night. I think.
Our penis' have led to more networking than mark zuckerberg.
When someone comes out of your vagina and stomps on your dreams, you'll understand.
My new dealer is 16. I have been getting high longer than he has been alive.
I don't see the problem
You were dancing with a coffee pot of rum in one hand and a joint in the other. So that should explain everything.
He told her Jesus wouldnt yell curse or degrade her. He'd just simply shake his head and slap the shit out of her
On a completely different note: my hookup and i are now in a semester GPA competition. Winner gets froyo and sexual favors. School just got interesting.....
I don't know what's worse the fact that I woke up with a clit piercing or the fact that I didn't pay for it.
Sorry for trying to baptize you last night
You knew the entire thing in Latin I was so impressed
Randomize
