She tried to have sex with him but he quote unquote respected her
His pubic hair was longer than his dick
He' s half Black and half Italian, I finally asked...this penis maybe one for the records.
I'm going on a nature/throwup walk. Don't lock me out of the apartment.
All i remember is people cheering me on to drink faster than the dog, out of the dog's bowl. I just couldn't stop.
I've come to realize sober is a rare time of the day.
I just had someone I don't even know on Facebook message me saying it seems like I drink too much and should slow down.
the only thing you said was do the helicopter dick
if Anne Taylor knew what she did in her clothes, she'd be banned from the store.
oh come on, it's the perfect length summer dress to blow a stranger in the bathroom in
If I wasn't stoned and knee deep in cheese and crackers I'd help.
Woke up with two different flip flops on sum burnt at the beach. Who are these French kids plz come back
I sent him a tit pic with the caption, "Mt. Arie and Mt. Hola are ready for expedition." Too nerdy?
Used my brand new sperrys as a trash can to throw up in and woke up with someone's random key in my hair...new year new me:)
we just smoked for like ten hours and got froyo. not a bad start to the weekend.
Do you ever go take a shit and end up sitting on the toilet for like 45 minutes wondering what the fuck you're doing with your life?
Everyday my friend, everyday.
Randomize