I just pulled a feather out of my vagina.
I am not joking.
There's some strange man with hair that keeps talking to us. I'm scared.
This is how horror movies start. Going to bar with strange hair guy. He's paying. Bad idea?
Ditched hair man. Got free cab ride to market. Want food. I win.
can't wait for January to be Over so I don't have to see all the fat resolutionists working out.
just overheard a conversation that ended in "and that's what I learned in France" How could that not have been about sex
just so you know, you can get through airport security with handcuffs no questions asked
Fuck you. You would only tell me how to get to your house in Spanish.
The bouncer yelled at him for poking at the guy selling roses, I think it's time to leave.
I just need to repress my desire to share my impressive chugging abilities with the world and I won't black out so much
I'm gonna eat you out with that hat on so it looks like beaker's doing it. And I'm gonna go "memememememe"
It's like weed even makes my glasses better. Everything is so bright and clear and beautiful!
He Dutch ovened me while I was hiding under the covers from his mom. Needless to say it did not end well.
My dad just saw me take dirty one night stand underwear out of my purse. I'm willing to admit I have a problem
Dude I'm so clean right now. Like I feel insulted that I can pass a piss test.
She just walked out of her bedroom naked and asked me to help put her diaper on. Yeah, that pretty much sums up the last 24 hours...
the day i stop sending you hentai screenshots is the day i actually act like an adult, and TRUST ME. THAT AINT HAPPENING ANYTIME SOON.
Randomize
