We need to find a way to make penises more like hookahs.
i'm saving my butt for my wedding night
the more i look through evidence of last night, the less i seem to remember.
She's licking the seat belt now. Feeling a little uncomfortable
I just had a flashback of me saying "I'm not ready to be a deadbeat mom" lastnight.
How many weeks is it acceptable until I can start bringing freshman back?
Megan brought her friend up last night, greeted her by drunkedly taking a piss all over her duffle bag of clothing
do i respond to the booty call for the guy with the bigger dick or the one who has the gourmet coffee i like so much? at this point i'm leading toward the coffee
He went to cum on my stomach and somehow it got behind my ear. He's like a fucking jizz Houdini.
I mean. I just want to sit in my bed and eat bagels. What's wrong with that?
I feel a little uneasy about having my grandma sleep in my bed that I've banged chicks in not too long ago... Fuckin blizzards
He interrupted me giving him head to ask if I were hungry, because he wanted to eat pizza. Wtf.
too bad we didn't bet. my 38-1 tears would have made great lubrication for a blow job.
I ended up changing her contact in my phone to "O Great Potato".
Hey. You got pizza and sex. How much more can you ask for?
Randomize