Charles is a playa. And I don't mean the spanish word for beach.
out of nowhere you said let us see your boobs, then proceeded to pull my shirt down.
i gets down
after we had sex last night he told me he smelled like my vagina. and then he said that if his roommate had a vagina he would probably smell like it. because "they hug weird and shit."
I woke up at 3am naked and stroking a watermelon.
I can't try on my wedding dress because someone is trying to commit suicide in the store. Is this a sign?
i lost virginity while listening to candy shop. something in my life has finally gone right.
Passed out on her toilet. Dog licked my face to wake me. Awkward talk with her boyfriend, who hadn't been home last night. Not sure exactly what town I'm in, but I'm south. Will call for ride when I figure it out.
apparently there was a flour fight and couch sex...
I guess birthday shots aren't always the answer
Are you still goin to the xmas party?
Yaaaa why?
Jus making sure i will have nice people i know to put a blanket over me when i pass out in the field .
So I fucked her. If you're keeping score at home, it's all tied up with horrible sex with someone I like and great sex with someone I hate both with 1.
im actually so stoned and hungover i feel like a bag of jello stuffed into a human shape
WE SHOULD MAKE A WORKOUT ROUTINE CALLED BARCARDIO
I'm about to turn myself in when I'm less hungover.
Can I bother you for a second.
You always bother me but go on.
Randomize
