I found my old addy guy via fb who clearly understands the supply and demand curve of addy during finals so he's gonna hook me up.
it was really awkward. it took him like like 2 minutes to realize who he was jacking off to. he stopped mid-stroke. such a small small world
i told you not to try chat roulette
He introduced himself to me as "the gayest gay who ever gayed." I like him already.
And your cousins porn shouldn't have been the first straight porn you watched. And for that I am sorry
I can officially say I had a blunt rolled on my ass
I had to sit there with his three fat aunts talking about a bunch of 50 Shades knockoff books.
I felt like a taxi, but my meter was running up minutes he would be eating me out that night.
She licked my face when I was on the phone with a customer and I just laughed. Im not sure if thats good or bad
Is there a particular reason why everyone is now calling you Butt Doctor?
Apparently drunk me thought it was a good idea to buy $100 worth of band aids and stick them all over everything in the apartment.
He stole me a cantaloupe and we drunkenly broke into a park and ate it on a bench with my pocket knife. I think i need to marry him
so is it socially acceptable to send her an "i got my man back you whore" card?
Today's hangover is brought to us by Sailor Jerry's and your dedication to my alcoholism.
I would throw a dart into the Olympic ceremony and fuck whoever it hit
I flashed my boobs, shit my pants, and kissed the wrong twin. I'm on a roll you don't want in on.
We hotboxed his bathroom. going to be a good night
Hotbox went wrong - smoke sets off fire alarm. Firefighters coming
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