just saw a prosititute with a baby stroller...question is...if the baby wakes up is the blow job free?
I heard that if you win you get to have sex with me. You guys really need to stop wagering my vagina.
I hope my liver is having as much fun as I am
Saw the college gyno today. It has now been medically confirmed that I have a perfect vagina.
We broke into the space center. If i go to jail I wanted to tell you, you have a fantastic dick. Use it wisely.
I feel I should make it clear.....I'm not stalking you, I'm stalking ur dick. You don't even need to talk when you get here. At 4am I think we'd both prefer that anyway.
Good news. Hiccups are gone. Bad news. I had to set the bathroom rug on fire to get rid of them. Don't come home until the fire truck leaves.
That last minute feeling of hesitation on whether I should bring my health card to the bar usually means I'm in for a good night.
It was like bizarre-o star trek. I shamefully went where every man has gone before.
When we were eating pie last night, I dropped some, and not only did you not judge me for far surpassing the 5 second rule, you let me use your foot to sock mop with. You're a good friend.
Mike found the condom wrapper on the washing machine and looked at me and said "Magnum? NICE girl. Get that nut!" then proceeded to puke in a cup
Nothings harder than putting on a frozen condom.. or should I say softer
Congratulations on your downgrade, shes one hell of a 5
the best part was at the strip club when he said he was "here to pick up my wife. she's up on stage.....wait that's my aunt". only in Ottawa.
So i've noticed that drunk me erases sent messages to hide them from sober me, because drunk me knows that sober me will be PISSED at drunk me.
Randomize
