you would have Pina Colada flavored saliva.
LSD in a sugar cube. Dropped it in my whiskey sour and felt like I was rowing a boat.
It's all coming back to me. I drank moonshine from a milk carton from a guy named tomohawk last night.
he looks SO much like Drake, I feel like an extreme groupie every time we have sex.
I get a nose bleed and my uncle is automatically giving me the "your doing lines off dashboards again aren't you" look
we came into the house to find you doing shots by your self and when we told you to stop you locked yourself in the bathroom...
did I at least say anything...
you meowed at us and said you're a cat and cats drink for a living
I yelled kanye while he was fucking me. It just felt right
So my Mom pointed out my vibrator on the night stand next to my stun gun and reminded me of how much I drink.
My booty call fought through ice and a foot of snow to get here. He brought booze, food, and cigarettes for three days. My vagina is the greatest motivator of all time.
Last night was incredible. I can tell by the nacho cheese on my jacket
I mean, he drove your car and it burst into flames, if anyone cant be trusted, it's him.
If you're wondering about the mess, we had sex in the kitchen. There was noodles involved.
Is there a reason drunk me put drunk you's phone in the freezer?
He texted me at 4:30 in the morning saying "I'm not drunk but I think you're beautiful" and then a facebook message at 6 am saying "hi" and the subject was "oh"
he'll eat me out, but god forbid we double dip when sharing salsa
Randomize
