Mr ***** is in bed with his super hot wife giving her 18 inches of pleasure
Thanks for jumping on that grenade for me last night. You're the best wingman ever
She ate 7 of the 8 slices of pizza. I deserve a purple heart and sex w your sister
She told me a very interesting story, complete with pantomimes, about how she got a habanero seed in her vag
Why is it people are always in costumes on Cheaters these days? Joe Greco literally just said, "It appears they get chased by a chicken with a chainsaw." WTF?
Mom is telling us about the time she drank her own breast milk. Help.
I just got a flashback from Saturday night of you helping me wash my feet in the bar's bathroom.
Then you started screaming that this was the first time you did e and that you had a 4.8 gpa, that was right before you almost suffocated between that one girl's tits.
Just took an adderall with a shot of tequila while doing my makeup in the parking lot at work before I go in. I'm also late. They're so lucky to have me.
Haha he was not a poor little guy. If he'd talked to me or something I might feel bad. But since I saw him groping other girls as well as myself there's no sympathy coming from me
He's just picking out the right girl. I do the same thing with fruit. Grope them, squeeze them, smell them. I have to know I'm getting quality fruit.
So ran into your ex from sophomore year last night... Apparently hes gay and a stripper now. we all got lap dances because we knew you
I think that's why god made me a woman. Bc it's harder to slap people in the face with a vagina.
But I REALLY want to hide my crazy for as long as possible with him so he'll date me.
We had sex twice and at Wendy's how dare you diminish that.
I was just thinking about if my bath water turned to jello and got a little freaked out
He just made this face while he was fucking me and he looked like the hunchback of Notre Dame, I had to stop him.
Randomize
