Sex don't cost a thang now that you can buy trojans with meal points.
Do you have swine flu?
I know my taste in men is not always top notch; however, I don't sleep with swine.
Pigs, yes. Swine, no.
so she asking me "is it okay to have dangling labias?"
Dude. Creed is coming in september.
We're no longer friends.
It really ruins the moment when you have to ask to resend the nude pics.
Upperdeckered the toilet. Took sombrero off, drawing too much heat. Witnessed glassing. In bush, come findme.
she's using motion activated glade air fresheners as some sort of early warning system
Woke up under the lifeguard stand sleeping next to mitch our homeless friend. I bartered a summer wardrobe for his last 5 dollar to buy a bfast sandwich. Bring clothes
He whinnies like a horse when he's cumming. I wish I would have known this before we got into a relationship.
Road construction signs are deceptively heavy
remember our old mantra: why can't life be as easy as we are?
Weekend plan is a big bag of dope, delivery food, Bollywood marathon and masterbating my dick raw.
The bump on my forehead, i think, was from falling asleep at front door, on my knees, slumped over. But we played good music so what?
Don't worry I sent a creepy stalker message to a guy I slept with 6 years ago, Sunday Funday rock bottom
Can I get my morals surgically removed?
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