Text me right after you finish, I want to know how the ghetto fleshlight worked out
How about I just call you while I'm doing it so you can hear my reaction?
Hopefully the semester will be over before she has a breakout. Then I can just avoid the situation entirely
I need you to come over. Im crying, day drinking and working out simultaneously.
she got into med school, i feel dumb for banging her dance major friend
sitting in the bathroom telling some girl to keep puking or she will die. while holding a beer. nursing school rocks.
I woke up and took my shirt off, and there was what I was assume to be pieces of tree in my chest hair. Any ideas about that one?
came home to a trail of roses from the door halfway up the stairs. but my nonsingle roommate lives downstairs. idk if they celebrated on the stairs or if some girl tried to woo me last night and i don't remember
Also, we found a geriatric Snoop Lion.
my ex's current girlfriend held my hair as I threw up. new low.
My ass is underappreciated
now that we broke up we are playing hot potato with the cock ring.. Poor thing just needs a home
I'm slowly starting to accept that you have to be a sociopath to be attracted to me
OMFG I JUST SEARCHED DILDO ON THE WORK SHARED AMAZON ACCOUNT!!!!!
Because of you I can never eat chicken nuggets without thinking of you fucking him. I hope youre happy. I really do.
It was probably the most embarrassing moment of my life. But I had cleavage, so I'm good!
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