oh so you have enough money for the third eye blind concert but not enough for the morning after pill?
She was so drunk that I kept trying to switch out her wine for water. Sort of like Jesus, but in reverse.
she would be the type to have more hair on her twat than on her head
she has to be all "alternative"
you were on ground yelling about how close the floor was to your face.
She used the introduce me to her roommates so she could find out my name trick the next morning..I may be in love.
Chasing shots by shotgunning beers is not a good idea.
I definitely paid for a case and a fifth and all I got was 6 beers and a crown and coke. Wtf. Bar math sucks
My adult sexuality and some of the best memories of my childhood collided like a Pee Wee Herman wet dream.
Elaborate
Strip Mario-Kart
We stayed up until 4:20 AM. The next thing I remember was waking up at 4 PM, like my internal alarm clock knew.
I picked up a chick last night on crutches wearing a I am boobman tshirt. I love raves.
Showering in not my own throw up is really hittin the spot right now.
he's dressing as a chick for halloween. of course i'm gonna make him get his legs professionally waxed. how is this even a question?
he sent me the greatest dick pic I've ever received.
he actually took the time to cut a fingertip off of a glove then put it on his dick like a beanie. he called it hipster dick.
I made out with a guy so that I could get ahead in the bathroom line, totally acceptable
Oh god I just had an orgasim riding my bike. I need to get laid pronto.
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