Just saw my gyno in public. Weird to see her hands outside of my vagina.
We can't ever have kids because there's a chance that they'll end up just like us.
Oh my god. I think I just sexted my mom...
What?!
Fwd: Ride me, you sleek sleek woman!!!
at the topless march for equality..and wow.not all these boobs should be treated equally
She sent me a text saying she picked out 17 different Halloween costumes for our kids when they hit the age of 4... The cling factor should have me running right now but honestly I'm just curious
I have to fuck proof my bed. It was in the middle of the room this time.
I found this letter on my leg this morning "dear sober self- we are one body now. It's weird but get used to it because it already happened" who the fuck is lionman?
Sunday Funday has been cancelled indefinitely, due to lack of self control of all parties involved.
this lady just pulled corn on the cob out of her purse
People like that make this world a better place.
He made me cum 7 times AND I nearly drowned him during that 69 in the back of a ford focus. Yeah I should get my gynocologist.
His idea of role playing was him wearing the halloween mitt romney mask while I gave him head
Please come quick there are people in suits here judging me
YOU LICKED MY MAKEUP OFF.
I'm going to confession for the first time in 6 years. Where do I start, the gay sex or rampant alcoholism?
Unexpected pussy is the best kind. Never expected to get any from a stranger at my little brother's bar mitzvah.
Mazeltov!
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