you think thats bad? Today I had to pop a zit on my sack.
I'm sooo using this pickup line: "Baby, its not the 2.5 inches... Its the 200 pounds behind it"
We just spray painted his balls while he is passed out....I cant wait to see him try to figure this out in the morning.
i woke facing the corner with my computer and i had googled "how to put out a fire" i am so scared to turn around
Dignity is for republicans.
We had to introduce ourselves in ethics class. This guy stood up said I'm mark, I love sluts and Jack. Then just sat back down. Hero status.
...he tried to burn down someone's house once. ABORT ABORT ABORT
I sent him a picture of my boobs instead of saying good morning. I'm trying to tell him how I feel in a language he'll understand.
You yelled to anyone that tried to help you "I have a burrito, what else could a girl want?"
Seriously insulted!! You can not share my dick pick with your gay brother. He won't quit poking me on fb
That was awkward , having sex with her while her husband watched via Skype. I'm a porn star or a target. Idk
HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED
We need to get walkie talkies for when we're drunk so if we are at different parties or lost we can talk
I'm too horny to sleep. I need some violent sex to wind me down.
Thank you for stopping me from getting a butt tattoo. That was a good call.
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