i wish i could watch tv and lissten to music at the same time...but still understand both
i think otters can do that
He said if I stayed the night he'd take me to church in the morning.
Semi hypothetical question. Do you think its physically possible to bruise your clit?
I really am. The stoner chick wants to get a python.
I've been drunk in my life. But I've never been "crying in 5 Guys at 1 in the afternoon" drunk
My drunk neighbor is arguing with a goose in his yard. This was the highlight of my day.
It wasn't like a party or anything. They played PlayStation and talked about sports. Then I threw up on his porch.
Here's a tip. Don't party with someone that needs sexual attention. Drinking and sexual attention don't mesh well in the morning. Especially over a bowl of Cheerios.
Ok I am NOT pregnant. I could shove coal up my vagina and my uterus would turn it into a diamond in a matter of minutes
I can affiliate each flavor of Copenhagen to a different one night stand. I really love Texas.
I woke up this morning with a sharpie tramp stamp. Pretty sure it's a picture of a squirrel.
Dad stumbling and puking in the White Castle parking lot = Father's Day success
Did I try to sell your body for chicken tenders last night?
I'm sorry for getting drunk and throwing a robo-bird at you.
He said I was so drunk and high that I had a conversation w/ his goldfish. The video shows me clearly conversing as if talking to a person w/ pauses in conversation and everything
Randomize