you kept begging me not to tell anyone you had been a bat in another life
The iPad is going to make my porn collection SO much more glossier... thanks steve jobs.
this mix will be the most desperate cry for affection in the history of itunes.
Its official. Iv'e been kicked out of a bar in every state. I would like to take my job and travel time for allowing this to happen.
The plan is to make enough mistakes this weekend to hold me over until spring break
My life has only gotten better since they built a playground behind the bar
I'm starting to second guess shaving my vagina over the kitchen sink. The lighting is so much better though.
We had a weird moment. Mid-sex he started talking. It went along the lines of "I. FUCKING. LOVE.....this condom..."
we left when one of the guys tried to stick himself with an IV that he found
About to throw up, bathroom line up, Bro sees me. Yells, 'PUKER GET OUT OF WAY' THEY ALL PARTED WAY THREW ME INTO A STALL AND CHEERED AS I THREW UP INTO THE TOILET. we are going back
Had to sacrifice my vibrator batteries to the thermostat gods. I had a dirty dream and also almost a heat stroke.
Once you share a nude experience with someone and three Norwegian guys, you're bound for life.
You start to question your party girl tendencies when you're wearing the same shirt you wore the night before to work and you're trying to get last nights Jell-O shot off the sleeve on your way to work
Oh fuck, I'm officially a cougar..he's got the same name as my grandson
I just timed my pee with a stop watch. From when the main stream started to ended. It was 45.1 seconds. This is the truth trust me.
Randomize
