I hope to God it wasnt poon. That odor was unnatural, it was satanic pussy.
I need to remember that good judgment goes out the window after the 7th shot and the 3rd Lady GaGa song.
I just sold my mom a dimebag. Should I feel scared or sucessful?
let's put it this way: i'm gonna stop drinking and get a gym membership. she's that hot
I'm considering telling her about my dream where I made a sex tape with her boyfriend. you know to test our friendship
the $20 limit for secret santa doesn't apply to me cause you know a half gram of coke is more than $20
I mean, I'm twenty four years old and I've never paid for my own drink. You can't say that any of your ex girlfriends boobs are THAT great.
The topic of sex in the jamba banana suit has come up on multiple occasions. We're just waiting for a moment to try it out.
My mom just gave me my fake back to buy her more wine.
I just dropped a condom on the floor at costco in front of my girlfriend and her husband. Today is not going to go well.
It was somewhere in between an airport security patdown and a medical examination. No groping or squeezing, just brief pokes and pats.
Micheal let me call him captain america while we fucked. It was awesome
How don't you remember..? You were getting handfuls of skittles out from our bra screaming TASTE THE RAINBOW.
i just called dibs on the taxi driver at the bar that isnt drinking. im a grown up
Damn that brownie almost kicked my ass. I'm not sure if my flight home lasted 10 minutes or 10 days..
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