I wish life was like dora the explorer where dancing pigs appear out of nowhere to solve your problems for you
angela screamed across the room SHES A CHAMP when i told the pharmacist plan b doesnt make me throw up
My porch is a mess of peanut butter and tostitos...thanks for that.
You do realize that we got a stripper to do the YMCA for us on the main stage... Right?
Fuckers are stealing our internet and making my porn stream slowly so I changed the password for VanceRefrigeration to RyansaCunt. No spaces but capitalization.
I gave his parents a candle as a thanks for letting me hang out there all the time. Which i guess is more accurately a thanks-for-letting-me-fuck-your-son candle
I don't mean to ruin your favorite Disney movie...but...we both came when Mufasa died.
I resisted the temptation to hold the cake in one hand to alternate bites with the ruffles I was eating. I decided that might make me look dysfunctional.
who's job is it to make sure we don't run out of tp since the incident of 09'... Thats right you go get some
Would it be inappropriate to do a science fair project on whether the type of drunk a person is is determined by nature or nurture
dude you're not even a fucking science major
I just did the walk of shame..with a blanket and a cup that says i will out drink all you bitches. This was not how i pictured 25.
in other news, i feel like i just shat out all my sins.
I don't know if we can compare high school reunions anymore. The keg stands started before 7.
Come help me clean and have sexual intercourse with me
Bring breadsticks
just found a picture from last night.
the one of you riding a horse with nothing but a bulletproof vest on?
uhm.... no?...
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