There's a 34yo winking at me. Why do i find this weird when my bf is a 38yo married man?
i have yet to find a random guy that would make me want to do any position besides missionary, these are what normal people call "applying standards"
i either bought an eighteen year old girl or i'm engaged to her... i'm not quite sure
Ugh, here's a dating tip. Hairy legs are a major turn off
Just got laid for the first time in 3 yrs, 10 mo, 1 wk & 2 days. YESSSS.
Just realized the fur coat I am wearing to the wedding is the one I had sex with the groom in
No worries. It'll grow back. I mean, hey, my eyebrows grew back after he shaved them off. So it's all good.
Bonus points if the penis has a little hat too
Number of twigs I found in my hair: 5
I'm surprised, it's been so long you must be starving
At a certain point, the zombie-like hunger goes away. Then the sadness sets in. Then you start lying to yourself that you're taking some "me time." Then you remember you dodged chlamydia and Buddha knows what else. Then you're at peace with it.
Pretty sure my first birthday present will be a pic of an 18-year-old's cock. And I am OK with that
He just said Bill Nye is just a dude. If I ever considered sleeping with him, I never will now.
Got so high i fell asleep kyaking...for 2 hours.
Let’s try it, I’ve never had a bad time with sex, tacos and beer.
just answer this one ? for me. why is there human shit in my shower right now?
Randomize
