Pussy?
how
Wat do u mean how?
I want to take you away to a place of dolphin rides and hot stone massages.
girl you didnt miss much. except me passing out for 3 hours AT JOBBIE NOONER on some random's boat. i was topless, then completely naked. heard girls were throwing ice cubes at me. i was useless. remember nothing.
can someone explain to me why i woke up under a twister sheet
You were sitting at the bus stop holding hands with some Polish girl you just met, who was just as drunk as you were, and you kept trying to light your Kit Kat and smoke it.
As I was going down on her I noticed she had a tatoo on her inner thigh that said "Eat it like your birthday cake".
i want to get drunk and sing the national anthem on your roof again please.
its not like she's the last girl on the planet with symmetrical breasts and great skin
I'm Still in a robe trying to piece together 3-7am I'll be there in a few
she tried to douche with champagne. in front of all of us. unabashedly.
She kept telling me to calm down. I was on the floor with my eyes shut, not moving. In levels of calm I was one step above coma patient
I told my doctor about us having twin chlamydia
Well, our assistant supervisor caught us on the back stairs...he invited us on a double date with his fiance and him. I guess our job approves of the relationship?
the cop asked if i was drunk and i responded with "breathalize me, cap'n". incidentally, he was a captain and i blew a .13.
YOU ATE THE FUCKING GOLDFISH!?
Randomize
