ur dog is so gonna tell on us one day.
for doing what?
for smoking bowls out on the deck while your parents aren't home.
How many times do you have to sleep with a guy before you get him to kiss you???
the dr. explained that the first big patch is called a herald patch since it's biggest. So his name is Harold the Patch.
Wow. You named your rash.
She fell out the car soaking wet and screaming "im wearing a fedora!" then tryed to seduce him on the front lawn in front of his middle aged neighbor
By "met a doctor" I really mean "fucked a pre med student"
Maybe I'm a robot.
You can't be that drunk already
I've hit an all time low of asking baristas what would go good with marshmallow vodka. I think I might hire one to party with all of us. To make hangover drinks
Everything was yummy and fruit flavored and five alive and happymeas.
Is it inappropriate to be Drs. Willy Fister and Jess Hewill as a couples costume for Halloween?
Oh we're gynecologists
You called me your momma bear, and then demanded more vodka
You know you went through something intense when you actuallu applaud yourself for not shitting your pants
It's like I'm getting a welcome home parade with sex!
Of course I'm going to see her again. She had waterproof handcuffs in her shower.
I pretended to be blind and he pretended to be my assistant and long story short, we had to buy that bra and panty set, and now we're both banned from Victoria's Secret AND I have a cum stained demi cup.
Did you know that chef boy-ar-dee was a real person? I watched a show about him. the history of the ravioli is more scandalous than you would think.
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