I didn't go out last night, but I dreamed that I blacked out and the *CRAZY* thing I did was to eat 12 cupcakes off 12 diff plates and stack them up neatly. If I had a life, I'd hate it.
Please dont use Danity Kane lyrics to describe your emotions.
fyi, i just bought my first strap-on. the little mermaid theme song was playing in the background.
woke up to moans and hushed"we can't do this with him in here." hope they had a good time
You know how my eyes change color? Well I noticed after I hook up with someone my eyes are greener.
Wow, so you're like the Edward Cullen of sluts.
We should have parties more often. I ended up with 90 beers and someone cleaned my toilet.
I feel like a need a fire hose to wash off what I did last night
He doesn't need to speak English. He needs to speak sex.
New low: falling asleep with my face in the toilet only to be awoken when my hand slid down and touched the water. It's moments like these I wish I could forget.
Would you even take no as an answer? I have a feeling you see it more as a challenge.
He turned me into a screamer. Guess I'm really not a lesbian.
So which one of you fuckers changed my backgrounds while I was passed out to me holding a chicken like the statue of liberty?
Do they still have sex clubs in San Francisco? Because that'd be an interesting way to spend Easter.
I said I wanted pizza tattoo on my ass and the tattooist asked me what I wanted on it.
You know that panicky moment when you go home with a guy and realize you’ve been there before?!? HAPPENING RIGHT NOW!!!
Turns out I banged his son a few months ago but the kids back at college so I don’t have to worry about him walking in while Dad has me bent over the couch
Randomize
