I bought a bottle of 100 proof for the storm. I am going to drink until I pass out. I'm taking bets. 1:30 pm is the over/under.
Yo, if someone calls you asking for John Stamos, just go with it.
Wow... that's disturbing man, and their not even my balls
so apparently i worked out for over an hour last night. drinking is the only way i will ever get anything done
He completely dissapeared at the baseball game. We found him passed out at the hotel three hours later with souviner photos of himself at the top of the Sears Tower.
Were going to have to vacuum the bathtub, great party
How's your threesome situation going?
Optimistic
Some clips from last night: grinded like I haven't since college. Took shots with a bartender with a bad ass mustache. Made up a string of lies with fake names and occupations. Slept behind the couch with pizza in my hand
I gave up on alcohol forever for like 2 hours, that's got to be a new record
I didnt finish. My brain kept playing the duck tales theme thru the entire blow job
So what kind of fun pills do we have for the amusement park tomorrow?
Well puke fest 2014 just happened
Well that's disappointing. I guess I'll give a lesson on dick-breaking another time then
Why can I remember how tall Nicki Minaj is from looking up her height once months ago, yet after weeks into the semester I can't even remember where any my classrooms are located
Importance
His sisters are going to have a heyday finding all those condoms in their bunk beds.
Randomize
