At least we lost an hour tonight! Less time to make a fool of myself
I like the name aiden. he likes stella. I told him they're coming out of my vagina, and I will name them what I damn well please. Stella goes.
You two kept repeating the same thing over and over. It was like looking after retarded pull-string dolls.
Can we please not be like these pathetic people in their thirties who only get drunk when they go see Sherrill Crow?
My New Years Resolution is to come up with a new resolution monthly. January: decrease my shotgunning consumption speed to 7 seconds or less.
u girls! girls! girls! have fun please don't hook up w/ a roadie! Love, mom
Currently emptying half-full wine bottles from fridge into my mouth and refilling with water for later. Drunk survivalist recycling!
Would you get mad if I held a "how many dick pics can you get in one night" competition with my friend?
I have learned that if you don't want to hook up with the guy who walked you home, food is great compensation.
How many stacks you been grindin gangsta?
omg mom no
It's so blood brotha crip what be good
You know it's a good weekend when you wake up on Sunday questioning your sexuality.
Also, I'm kinda hungover this morning and I need to wire money to my lawyer. So this is what adulthood feels like
I think we can say happy hour is successful when you have frosting and southern comfort in your hair.
you need a warning label. Just announcing that you are Scottish is seen more as a challenge. Those guys have no idea what they are getting into.
Holding your hair back while you puked wasn't a choice. I was handcuffed to you.
Randomize
