So pretty much, I was trying to piece last night together and remembered a point where I was pointing to you heart then touching your face. I'm not sure that I ever translated that to "I like your personality better than your looks" but that's what I meant
You said I was the most beatiful preggers youve ever seen...im not pregnant
You realize we can hear you jacking off in your room, right?
I like it rough
I heard from multiple reliable sources that she doesn't have a gag reflex. Of course I'm going to try to go home with her.
I just met his wife...she told me they have been having marriage problems and are spending his paychecks on marriage counseling...then she cried on my shoulder...NOW i feel like a bitch.
This needs to stop. I just vacuumed the wall. Adderall is a double edged sword.
we didnt even have break up sex...
you had it for us with someone else...
future-me showed up mid trip and gave us a thumbs up.
Chill out, I'm getting ready as fast as I can. I didn't even masturbate in the shower.
If we don't have crazy animal sex tonight at least twice, I'll know he's cheating on me.
Who wouldn't want crazy animal sex with you?!
A cheater.
Btw had an awesome time last night. Found some blood on my shirt and ear but I'll chalk it up to the tequila shots.
there is a spider sitting on top of my weed like he owns it or some shit
no but seriously tf do i do? i have that spider phobia but i think my lvoe of the weed overpowers it
There's a set of buzz lightyear wings in lost and found at work. I just need access to your roof.
You can’t homewreck what the Lord hath brought together.
Im sober enough to understand what people are saying but drunk enough to understand its hilarious
Randomize
