Dude. I just woke up without a shirt or bra on. Apparently I fell asleep with a quesadilla in my mouth. I can feel my liver hating me.
Not only do prius' look terrible they are terrible to have sex in
Just hide your weed in your baby brothers shirt. TSA wont check a baby, thats fucked up
I'm sorry for coming into your work place and trying to smuggle you out in my purse.
The higher i get, the less gay he looks, and the more i want to make out with him. This is dangerous.
Theres a picture of me with cut up clothes rolling in the policeman's lawn, I missed you, summer.
ill be fine wheb you get back. I'm gunna do real world things like washing the dishes. having to perform serious tasks brings you down.
I am dressed. And we didn't do anything. He's gorgeous and tall tho. Something nice to look at when I'm hungover
I forgot how easy it is to have sex in public when you're wearing a dress. Thank you global warming.
You kept saying you only wanted to drink until you were sleepy. You succeeded if "sleepy" means you sleepied around with 4/6 of the guys there.
Please come and kill me with a brick you dont even have to be nice about it just smash myfucking skull in this is the worst hangover ive had for at least a week
I'm playing a lilo and stitch drinking game
Aloha alcoholism.
That tingly feeling you're experiencing in your lady parts is my mustache. All the ladies of America are waking up feeling the same thing. You're welcome.
well I've taken an Uber to my weed dealers twice in the past 2 weeks so it's going well since I sold my car
I told him I was studying his body for art, so now I have to actually do a drawing of him to not look like a creep and so we can hook up again.
Randomize
