Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(216): View more from Ohio

I like daylight savings. I don't care if it's 4 oclock it's not daydrinking if it's dark out

(440): View more from Ohio

seek help.

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(214): View more from Texas

Just stepped in shit. Not sure if its mine or the dog's. Get some of our friends on the way back from work and just have the intervention now. I will totally understand.

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(816): View more from Missouri

My genitals don't want beer. They want to not feel like they wandered into a hornet's nest.

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(530): View more from California

I fucked that choir dude last night. he had the most strangely musical moans. it was like a Sound Of Music porno.

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(314): View more from Missouri

Tequila should only be paired with the finest of dick

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