I am in a vortex of obligation.
I just ate an adderall and jelly sandwich in front of my mom. Homework time!
the last thing i remember is you screaming lets hunt humans.
there's no food at this bar, but i'm pretty sure vodka is made of wheat so i'm basically drinking bread.
I'm crawling around naked in my room looking for my hairbrush. Just thought I'd put that image in your head.
Ummm I just broke my no puke streak at church
I totally just friend requested the girl I met in jail last night so that I could give her back the sunglasses she lent me upon our release. See, I'm not a total delinquent.
siamese drinking twins saturday is a go ... bring duct tape.
After it was shut down sean literally made out with four separate girls between the 100 feet to our house. It was a rampage.
It's like past high you was looking out for future high you by rolling that joint and leaving it in your coat pocket. What a Halloween miracle
You know it's last call at a gay bar when the guys at the urinal are just jacking off in front of each other. Most awkward pissing moment of my life.
Beer acquired. Food is cooking
Wow, you are almost sliding into home plate for some stellar fellatio
Crust to egg proportion prescribes to a pedantic form of quiche. It's like saying breakfast pizza isn't pizza at all.
His penis is the only thing worth pursuing but all the baggage attached isn't.
day drinking didnt prepare me for this..
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