I had to get a ride home from that girl that slept with 3/4 of the band
Just ran into that guy that tried to take a dump in your pool
He told me I had nice tits + they have a great shape. + then proceeded to flatten my boob + show me what the gross tits he's seen look like.
Oh I forgot to tell you that while you were in the bathroom last night I made friends with a gay man named Rodger from Venezuela and he kissed me cheek and told me I "knew how to shake my thing". From now on we go to the bathroom as a team.
It's one of those days where you order the free Papa John's pizza so the delivery guy can bring you Coke to go with your rum. The tip was more than the order.
i got her number while she was sitting next to her boyfriend. her actual number. i might be a superhero
Just bought the plane tickets. Light headed. Blood rush to clit oh god blue clit. Mayday mayday vagina down!
Yeah, but she is forever sending my vagina on some sort of mission.
It was awk he was sittin on a plastic backyard chair in his underwear and high white socks in the dark watching the nuggets game
Mom called her a cunt. I think that's code for "don't bring her over ever again."
it was like teleporting. everytime i opened my eyes, i was somewhere different... usually the floor.
I told him he was like my favorite pair of jeans; I may not wear them every day, but I'll never get rid of them and they make my ass look fantastic. Needless to say he was not thrilled.
After sending me a dick pic, he asked, "yay or nay?"
That's how pantless uber rides happen
Update: tequila girl had her hand down groomsmen pants
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