I want the hot one, scratch that. anyone.
and when i put it inside her she yelled "welcome aboard!"
no.. I went home. Puking up hot dogs and lemon tart isn't as lovely as it sounds.
i don't even remember going to get food. i think i got gas too.
We're going to play a drinking game. It's called "Senior Year of College."
Congratulations!! You are the WINNER of a brand new BLOWJOB!! You can collect your prize between the hours of 12pm and 1pm today, anywhere you'd like!!! :)
He handled me like a finger puppet on crack... Time to ice the vagina, I'd like to sit down sometime today.
why is there a fishing net hanging from my ceiling fan?
i need to stop celebrating other people's birthdays like they are m own.. my body can't handle a birthday every week
I need to quit being a slut. It's to the point that I got my period today and automatically I Believe I Can Fly popped into my head.
Ask me who hasn't showered since Sunday and just got cruised at the gas station on his way to work. I'm a terrible gay.
You're the only one to love me enough for me to admit the following: Rock-bottom sounds like sobbing to a Miley Cyrus song.
Side note: I just realized that I can make my hand warmers double as a heated push up bra.
there is such a gross feeling of satisfaction when the married guy i used to hook up with likes my facebook status.
I feel like I got hit by a car. But a small car, like a Beetle or a Mini or something.
Randomize
