He keeps saying he loves me and ruining perfectly good conversations.
i just did my hair and make up to walk our dogs.. I hate being the single roommate
I woke up to a topless girl handing me a blunt. Candidate for greatest wake-up ever?
Stalkers don't have time for showers...it's a full time job
somehow we got the entire party to start singing "ill make a man out of you" from mulan. needless to say, that kid had the best keg stand i'd ever seen.
She's making her own pesto again. Cooking spaghetti in the microwave and "frying" vegetables in the toaster oven. All this while wearing the yellow rubber gloves and saying that the pesto has feelings like a real person. Im terrified.
Either call me back or tell me you're in jail. For fucks sake. If this is a cop, just help out. national league.
Apparently she got a minor consumption for using vodka soak tapmons
Does that work!! Please say yes
do you remember the random banging on my door at 3 am wearing 2 budlight cases as a dress
Sharknado 3 is going to bring us to alcoghol poisonign
Our friendship just got weirder. He snapchated me the porn he was watching.
I'm out of breath and my thighs burn but at least it's over.
listen. i haven't sucked a dick in well over three years but i believe in myself.
He gave me a brownie at the beginning of class and now I can't feel my face.
dude i told her that I loved her...and she said, " go fuck yourself"
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