Im bringing wine tonight. Its from a merlot from nashville. i bet it'll taste like infidelity and teenage pregnancy.
Random question, how's your gag reflex these days
1 stripper is 160/hr. 2 strippers is 280/hr. it would be fiscaly irresponsible to only get one.
they almost convinced me to put "Funbags" in the 'other names you may be known as' section of the job application
He had the Transformers symbol tattooed to his chest. We had to do it doggy style so I could laugh into my pillow instead of his face.
i am positive it's ok to drink. it's just pieces of the plastic knife i forgot was in the blender.
I was just counting ceiling tiles when he ate me out, it was that bad.
Just mixed vicodin and mucinex. This cold just got fun.
Crazy fun. I think I got a concussion from a stripper
Took three klonopin and turned all my jeans into jorts. I miss you
I don't think I will ever be as happy about anything as this man next to me on the bus eating Taco Bell.
My legs r really sober for running now
I don't think that's how sobriety works.
Let's have sex in an apple orchard
Dude, you need better judgement.Trust me I know. I put my dick in the wrong mouths all the time
Thanks for having me over last night. Sorry I licked rum off your kitchen floor.
Randomize
