I just saw Ann slam dunk her puke bag into a trash can on Avenue A. You ladies might want to consider putting the Patron shots down and going home.
If I were trying to take advantage of you I would have maxed out all your credit cards by now.
All i remember as you were making ramen is that you kept slurring "i like you as a color"...
I just saw a guy getting escorted with handcuffs on, I'm too drunk to be at the airport right now.
Just turned your apartment into a democracy and were voting on who takes shots next
I don't know, I think it's at least a minor achievement when you can light up with the guy who took your virginity and act like you didn't have and incredibly awkward sexual experience together
that's the second time I've left that bar and slept with the person that's driven my car. thank god I don't take cabs..
And we had three hours of crazy sex then his roommate ate pizza off me while I was sleeping.
I mean in all honesty I would let James Franco shit on my chest. End of story
Besides, I don't need any more men there who have seen my tits. #bearwatch2014
You mistakenly try to piss in a cactus bush ONE TIME and are forever dubbed cactus ass
Today is a shit your pants at work kinda day
No, no... It was great. I feel like my liver took a vodka shower and washed it's hair with pabst
It’s like my vagina just knows when a man is a barrel-chested freedom fighter.
Our fake lesbian relationship is better than her real relationship. Bitch be jealous
Randomize
