Richard, I just read on your Twitter account that you have enjoyed a, "Much needed post birthday smoothie..."...A bit revealing, no?
She does have a great personality.
Yeah, in her vagina.
I woke up in the penthouse and did lines off the to of the fireplace. This is not real.
He gets you donuts, dinner, and booze consistently, who cares if he's cheating
im just going to wait until i dont feel like the grim reaper is having sex with me
Those two lesbians inspired me. A whole new way to roll. Fuck shots. Gallons of vodka is the new tequila.
You need to stop having girl talk with the guys I'm sleeping with.
We went to the casino to try to earn enough money to go to new Orleans comfortably. I'm already drunk. This is a horribly immoral start to summer.
Actually some of the best sex I've had involved a lot of laughing.
How small IS your cock?
my balls were so many shades of blue last night I could have used them as paint and replicated the entirety of Picaso's blue period. The girl was an art major I feel like this metaphor is appropriate.
I have just found the cubicle of sustenance. And I will rejoice at all the families that have not found this magic. This vodka cubicle of magic.
Have you ever come so hard that right after you have the urge to yell "make me a sandwich!"? ...I think my ovaries turned into testicles.
Just keep your throat open and beer will always find its way in.
Do you know how awkward it is to get a dick pic while working at babies r us?
I feel like him using the excuse "I'm not a fan of lying" to stop me from sleeping around is hypocritical since he's cheating on his wife with me.
Randomize
