Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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Sorry scollyar2050 hasn't picked any favorites yet.

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(847): View more from Illinois

just tell him he has love handles, he'll die of insecurity

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(813): View more from Florida

Tampa is so boring. I'm dying. I want lots of cleavage at my funeral. If i cant get laid, i want my friends to. I'm that kind of person

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(412): View more from Pennsylvania

You can call me Bill Clinton. I brought 2 good looking Asians home last night.

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(518): View more from New York

apparently people get pissed when you take the bag of wine out of the franzia box and put it in your purse before leaving the party

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(732): View more from New Jersey

The cab driver just finished telling me how leaving community college after one month was the best desicion he ever made.

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(301): View more from Maryland

dude,it's memorial day.not getting wasted=you're a terrorist

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(843): View more from South Carolina

Nothing quite like coming out of an alcohol induced blackout walking down Spruill Avenue carrying a silver briefcase full of IT tools you don't know where they came from. This is my life.

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(601): View more from Mississippi

Can you find me some 'I threw up in my hair last night' medicine?

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(604): View more from British Columbia

What's a really polite way of saying "you have gravely overestimated the value of your vagina?"

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