So you refered to him as "monster dick"...not so much
apparently drunk me likes to play hide the puke.. was not a fun time washing all my legos.
its not that she doesnt like having sex with you, your balls just smell worst then your ass.
they call him Oral-B. enough said
I should not be in class today. For the professors sake.
He just showed me how to break a chop stick with his ass.
I DO NOT KNOW WHO SHE IS, WE HAVE NO MORE FRUIT, SHE CAN'T STAY HERE.
So high I started thinking my desktop picture of a cat was too erotic for the workplace.
He wants to tie me naked and spread out on his table, press a vibrator to my clit and feed me ice cream.
That is my stoner wet dream!
I could see myself being this awkward weirdo drunk girl that patted strangers and danced terribly but was powerless to stop it
He's being awfully beer snobby for a guy who ordered salad
You poured a bottle of water into the salad bowl and said "bowls are a joke" and then poured it into your lap.
So the remote for the camera in the photo booth must have gotten dropped on the floor. while you were in there. having a threesome. on the floor of the room where my parents stay when they visit me. so thanks.
Well guess who isn't a virgin anymore
guess who isnt wearing pants has a shaving cream beard and is afraid theres no cream cheese in the fridge
the answer to that last one was me. the answer to the first one is you, you sly dog
If you really hate him do what I do: give him an amazing night of unforgettable sex then dump him. You’ll ruin sex for him because new girls won’t compare
Randomize
