what's Bukake?
a bad idea.
I just remembered that last night when we tried to walk off the spins you said "pretend i'm your pet dinosaur" so i walked you around on an invisible leash while you made t-rex hissing noises.
i don't care what she did to you. we are not having sex in front of your sister.
i just got a clause named after me in the 'alcohol and drug use' section of the handbook. this is certainly a warning sign.
he drove an hour to get eggs with me not even a blow job, just eggs.
When did it seem like a good idea to do pull ups off the balcony? After beer 5 or shot 7?
You need 4-7 business day to recover from a fingering like that.
Parents said they were cutting off my AmEx card. So I immediately went up to the liquor store and purchased $550 of booze before it was canceled. I'm expecting your arrival in 30 minutes.
I will be naked everywhere
I just screamed IM THE CHUPACABRA and jumped on his dick. I need to evaluate my life choices.
He saved that picture of my boobs for good luck romance still exists
2015 is the year I FINALLY ALMOST had enough dick to satisfy me.
This is why you arnt allowed in pet stores
You need to stop showing people the things i drunk-text to you... i have a reputation to uphold here
Man, I miss taking bong rips in my room. Now they are bringing dogs around so all my stuff is hidden in random places up in the woods. I literaly have to hunt and gather just to get high.
Randomize
