You stole her cigarette screaming that you were going to stop the air cancer from getting everyone.
at least i was looking out for everybody
he also begged me to fake an orgasm when he couldn't get me to come.
I don't appreciate the fact that you tagged me as a giant bucket Miracle Whip.
Apparently as she was dragging me out of the club, I was clinching onto this european guy screaming at Jenna: that's the 12th time you've cockblocked me tonight
Why is Kyle using one of my nieces as a blunt object to provoke and attack my other niece?
Throwing up in the car while my mom drives, sister holds the bag & my dad holds my hair. This is how my family bonds.
Nah, this is the University of Tennessee. She'll get the clap, and get busted for having pot in her dorm by spring break. This time next year she'll be part-timing at a community college as a nursing major. So predictable it hurts.
Just to circumvent as much mood-killing as possible, you are allowed a small amount of laughter at my pubic hair. Too much and I revoke your vagina privileges until you can get your shit together.
God, you're amazing. I just want to hang out with you in the nude and watch Monty Python movies whilst we quip about how comedians just aren't as funny anymore.
Credit for originality. Points off for a mild to moderate creepy factor.
he has a party story that rivals our "PTSD- soldier-with-a-knife" party story. I'm pretty sure this is part of some prophecy.
Got stuck at my fwb place for three days because I decided sex was more important than my safety in the weather. Worth it.
I'm still, like... really stoked about not having any STDs
Kelly and I just had sex, and you didn't call or text to interrupt, are you alive? We are both concerned.
Nothing like a little chlamydia diagnosis to ring in the new year
He was shirtless in my yard saying he was jesus
Randomize