Yeudjkisdjxbfceryuj. i love having a qwerty keyboard just so i can do that.
God dammit, you have a cape and I don't even have a fucking jacket.
I wanted to take a shower but I forgot we made applesauce in it last night.
When the cops knocked on the door, he just knocked back and announced "house keeping"
Rule #127: If your going to try fuck a married guy, you gotta be hotter then his wife; diet starts today.
Seriously, dude... You knows its bad when you gag on her nipple.
So I'm sitting at my desk and Thunderstruck came on my iPod. I then proceeded to drink coffee every time I heard thunderstruck. Who says you don't remember anything from college?
My puffy vagina and I are on the way to the doctor to see what your mutant penis did to us THANKS A LOT
Had a grope session with a girl who looked like my Mom and had the same name as her as well. I think therapy is in order.
I've found myself wondering why I WASN'T naked before, but I generally always know why I am naked. Except now. WHY THE FUCK ARE WE ALL NAKED
Yes she was blowing me but I couldnt see her face. The only light was from the sparklers she asked me to hold. I love 4th of July.
I just spontaneously learned how to embroider at three in the morning.
I also almost burned the house down in the process. Don't ask me how. It's a long story.
I woke up in a beaver hat and contruction vest.. I need answers.
She did what?
Who. The correct term is she did who.
Did you see him? The correct term is definitely what.
I wasn't talking about him I meant his penis! Its not a pet
Oh. Well it should be. I like petting it.
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