Worst sexual experience IN MY LIFE. And now i know why it makes jesus cry.
me and my sister are feeding my dog poprocks. this is proof you don't need a lot of money to have fun.
i literally laid in bad for an hour last night thinking of what i'm going to name my cats when i become a cat lady.
Suite mates just came in and said that we have to go to Africa. They're already packed. Didn't know you could get that high.
There's an old bald Japanese dude on the metra next to me. He's drinking MGD on a crowded train, and rocking out way too hard to what may be the same Dallas Green song I'm listening to. Life is sweet.
glow-in-the-dark stars on his ceiling from '98 totally make blowing him more romantic.
Oh god. It's my first day here, I'm still drunk and somebody just drifted in a forklift. I'm going to die.
Only catch is you have to sleep in the same bed as me. But no worries, I plan on being in a random guys hotel room every night. So it's essentially yours.
Are you considering all the consequences of doing your boss or are you just rationalizing with your vagina?
CAN I EVER JUST MAKE OUT EITH SOMEONE AND NOT GET FRIEND REQUESTED BY THEM THE NEXT DAY.
At least I remembered to wear a bra. I feel like that's a big accomplishment right now
Nothing like the soothing screaming of your neighbor getting boned while eating a pizza on the front porch.
Remember how I made that resolution to remain celibate for 6 months? Well, I just broke that
You literally made that 4 hours ago...
Once you find out someone has a small dick, you never look at them the same again.
It was great. We stayed up all night talking about objects he'd put in his theoretical vagina.
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