You know im sick of people that are still obsessed w obama. that was sooooo last year
He looks like Spencer from the game Dreamphone
Apparently oprah and I were in competition to see who's ass could get bigger this summer
Just saw the liqour store owner get into a mercedes, almost proud to be responsible for that
just wokeup with my ethics textbook on my chest, animal crakers in my mouth and my dick in my hand. even aristotle doesn't have a theory for this one
i dont think my parents would of encouraged me to save years of birthday money if they knew what i would eventually spend it on
I can neither confirm or deny any bear related allegations right at this time.
I ended up with a bullet proof vest and I still don't know his last name.
private study room at the lib turned into byob study room. that turned into battle royale and eric impaling his leg on a pen.
I had a moment while I was smoking where I was looking at these palm trees and I knew how dr Seuss came up with his characters.
I have a fantastic sense of humor but being called a merman isn't funny
I only had ten dollars. So leave it to Katie to somehow makeout with the bartender, on his shift mind you, and get free drinks.
When I woke up next to him on the living room floor, my glasses were broken and it felt like someone rubbed a cactus all over my vag
He then used a box cutter I keep in my car to open the plan b. Who says chivalry is dead?
I’ve had a lot of vodka, 3 different dicks and no food since last night. Come get me
Randomize
