That's the secret to virgins: blizzards.
New moon trailer came on. Theater booed. I love these people.
Just took career test that listed librarian and bartender as top career choices. Fascinating.
bad: friday night i tripped and fell outside my dorm. worse: i just found out i broke my ankle. worst: i was shitfaced and don't remember any of this.
Id love to say been there done that but im a slutty drunk not a stupid one.
yeah, he just sent me a picture of himself with his shirt off.... It didnt turn me on, it just made me want to buy him a big mac....
I'm on his itunes. He has a sex playlist. It's actually not so much a playlist as 12 Kylie Minogue songs with a big gay Whitney finish.
In college, I had one standard. Penis. A lot has changed since then. Now I really only have one standard. Breathing.
That kid i sell weed to just had his mom give him a ride over here she waited in the car while he bought a bag
i woke up and found a picture of his grandma in my purse.. im a kelpto
i need some food
Holy shit I forgot about you stabbing him.
Just remember that I named his dick Robo-cock before he got into the sheriff's department.
I came home wearing somebody's thong. If you're missing one message me privately.
Mind if I sleep with your cousin? If I can... thanks. If no, sorry its gonna happen.
I was thinking about the biological process causing me to puke while I was puking. THAT'S how much I'd been studying.
My sex life is driven by spite and alcohol
Randomize
