hitting rock bottom=girl fakes converting to christianity in order to get out of having sex with you.
Was it a mistake telling him I couldn't get the abortion until I was 2 months along on the first date?
anyone who says 'i love you' and then followed by 'im going to call the cops if you touch me' doesnt really mean the first part fyi
The hospital said it would be 'irresponsible' for them to allow people to book stomach pumps.
I didn't exactley write on my bucket list -- "hook up with a townie at a drivers intervention program"
He's been dancing to the same Rob Thomas album in his room for almost 8 hours now. Please never, ever bring extacy over here again.
Tonights theme there is the 7 deadly sins. Greed, envy, sloth, gluttony, sluttiness, fellatio and vodka.
how many past hook-ups can i invite to go bar hopping with me for my b-day before it becomes a bad idea?
you went over to those random dudes and told them you were an ordained minister and would like to bless their food. they laughed and agreed, then you said "now bow your heads in prayer" as soon as they did you grabbed a taco off their tray and bolted out the door.
Her family was right next to mine during christmas eve mass. Between the terrifying glares and her trying to set my sleeve on fire during the candle part I am VERY sure she knows im fucking her ex...
And here I thought that was one nut sack too many
What do you bring to an "I'm getting divorced party?"
.......Shattered dreams and tequila?
I realized just how much my daughter is MINE when I heard her tell someone "Go shit yourself" yesterday.
Sorry for face licking, I probably won't do it again.
Also, I love cats. I sat on the floor and they sat with me.
I do not recommend playing football on LSD like at all
Randomize
